She had no appointments. Everything was cancelled. She wanted to be with him, be with Bill, as long as it would take. Still there was no change in his constitution. No sign of consciousness. She thought of time they spend together. Time that was so massively filled out with confidence, luck and love. She could feel it. Remembered everything.
„Hey, Joan, I’m going to fetch bread roll from the market. Any specific requirements?“
„No, just, yes, bring some Bill with you, well tanned and trained. I’d like to have it with some sweet honey and at little butter. You think that’s possible?“
„Whoa, that’s a lot. I guess the butter might be possible. But with the rest, let’s see“
Bill left for the market. She couldn’t make it up, but she never felt uncomfortable with Bill leaving her. She had that trust, that trust in their relationship, in the heavens meaning well with them. Feeling so right, there must be some plan behind that. A good plan indeed, she admitted. Smiled, and waited for here sugar bread roll to reappear.
Bill eventually came back with everything ordered. They had their second breakfast in their little spot in croatia. It felt like home, like nothing else matters, like this was the only thing that was right and correct. Her heart was solid like never before, just because she knew him loving her, and she feeling the same for him.
The time back then in croatia was somehow the best time they had. They had lot of good adventures. But, looking back, this trip was so unconscious, so innocent, so purely, blindly loving. No thought about a future, no thought about anything but their love.
She picked up a stone, no special one. But, it was their stone, the sign of their love.
He discovered a bird in the sky, no special one. But it was their bird, carrying their dreams, showing the love that would fly high in the sky. Protecting those to small beeings, that felt of course the specicality of love they where in, but by no means felt the fragility. That made it special, that unique. And though she had other relationships, this was different. Many people guess that there might be only one that fits, many people remember a special first relationship. But only few experience a connection that deep, that intensive and close than they did.
Unfortunately, they became snotty, carefree and dissatisfied with what they had. Completely forgot what a relationship was about. Completely forgot that even the closest link needed taking care. Needed affection, stroking and time.
It was a bitter sentence. It was the lifetime sentence to not recognize the other one, to not see who he was. What he or she was. Imagine, two people, crafted, made for each other, sentenced to not perceive that any more. However, perceive it later on, when it is to late. When the dies are cast. When stakes are set. When dead ends are chosen.
Never think about what could have been she thouht. Never even spend a second on dreaming. Just avoid the pain. Just avoid drifting away. Just try to cope with today, not thinking about tomorrow, least of all thinking about yesterdays. It might break your neck.